Well done Thomas, you have retold a good version of Tane and the Three Kete. You have used some great vocabulary like "defeated" and "hopeless". Also, you have included an effective introduction. You have used paragraphs to organise your ideas. Great job.
Next time you need to copy your story more carefully onto the computer. There are no capital letters or full stops! But you used them well in your craft. Also, you need to add more detail to your paragraphs: for example, when Whiro sent insects and bats to attack Tane, what would that LOOK like? What would it SOUND like? Try to add detail from your senses.
Well done Thomas, you have retold a good version of Tane and the Three Kete. You have used some great vocabulary like "defeated" and "hopeless". Also, you have included an effective introduction. You have used paragraphs to organise your ideas. Great job.
ReplyDeleteNext time you need to copy your story more carefully onto the computer. There are no capital letters or full stops! But you used them well in your craft. Also, you need to add more detail to your paragraphs: for example, when Whiro sent insects and bats to attack Tane, what would that LOOK like? What would it SOUND like? Try to add detail from your senses.
Nic